I have a confession to make.
I am an introvert.
That feels tremendous to say. Sometimes I like to call myself a secret introvert because while I'm sure the majority of people who know me would call me an introvert I know some are puzzled by it. By this I mean, some people meet me and their first impression is that I'm shy, quiet and slightly awkward. However, I then turn to someone I know and feel comfortable with and I'm loud, animated, funny and possibly bordering on obnoxious at times. As well, I admit that I feel quite intimidated at one-on-one conversations with people I don't know but I am very comfortable speaking in large groups.
Another layer to the "secretness" of my introversion is that I used to feel somewhat ashamed to own up to this facet of my personality. So many positive adjectives are associated with people who ae extroverts. Extroverts are:
*outgoing
*sociable
*talkative
*warm
*funny
*life of the party
Introverts are often thought of as
*shy
*quiet
*boring
*dull
*anti-social
*snobby
For a long time I did not want to admit that I am more introverted than extroverted because I did not, and still do not want to associate myself with any of the above words. I also tend to pursue friends and be attracted to men who are more on the extroverted side and have spent a good portion of my life trying to be like those people.
As I navigate my way through my early twenties and into my mid twenties I realize that it is okay to love this part of myself and let it shine through. There are many great qualities to being introverted, and being able to write this blog is one of them. I also realize that being more introverted can be handy at work. When I can translate my quietness into a serene and calm vibe, I have learned that the babies really dig it.
Yes, I have difficulty carrying on a conversation with strangers or people I'm not completely comfortable with. Yes, I often find it hard to put my thoughts into words that I can speak to people, especially when I am emotional. Yes, I need time to myself without social interaction. But...
I also like being around people very much and I know that relationships are what keep me grounded. I may be quiet upon a first meeting with someone but it is because I also like to observe people and contemplate ideas to interact with them. I'm thankful to all the people who have looked past my quietness and put in the extra time it takes to get to know me. Moreover, I get along fantastically with humourous people because I make a great audience! I have had more than a few friends and family members tell me they enjoy having me around because I'll laugh at their joke even when no one else does. I still know how to have fun and I'm working hard to make sure I don't use "being an introvert" as an excuse not to meet new people, be compassionate and challenge myself in sometimes uncomfortable situations.
There you have it. The quiet girl speaks up. Think of this the next time you're interacting with someone who is a little on the shy or quiet side. Discovering the way my Maker made me and embracing what I find is just another one of those hurdles to get through.
Here's a song that I picked not because it has anything to do with being introverted but with judging people before you get to know them. J Biebz rocks, and before you hate, go see his movie, I guarantee you'll be suprised.
*Ish
